Who We Are

Saturday, May 08, 2021

Goldilocks And The Three Bears

Hi everybody!  It's me, Ragnar.  Since you all seem to like my stories so much (Little Red and the Handsome Wolf and Alice in Wonderland), I thought I'd tell you another one.  This came to me on our walk this morning.  It's called "Goldilocks and The Three Bears", and it goes like this ...

Once upon a time, three bears were walking through the forest.  Well, maybe more like across a prairie, but whatever.  You've got the Papa Bear, the Mama Bear, and the Baby Bear.  And a photo-happy girl we'll call Goldilocks. 

"Hey, Baby Bear and Mama Bear!  Let me get a photo of you in the sunrise!" said Goldilocks.
"Fine," said Baby Bear, "but I'm not looking at the camera."
"I refuse to be called 'Mama Bear'. And I'm not looking, either,"
said the bear who made it known that she should henceforth be referred to as 'Bad A$$ Bear'.

At that point, Baby Bear decided he should be called "Viking Bear" ... but let's get back to our story ...

"How about a photo up here?" asked Goldilocks.

Viking Bear refused to look at Goldilocks, Bad A$$ Bear refused to look at Goldilocks, and Papa Bear was covered in shadows!

"Let's try another shot," suggested Goldilocks.
"Viking Bear - good boy!  But uh ... Bad A$$ Bear?  Papa Bear?"
"How's this, Goldilocks?" asked Viking Bear.
"Whatever," said Bad A$$ Bear.
"Whatcha looking at, Bad A$$ Bear?" said Papa Bear.

Note that Viking Bear was being VERY good -- but we seem to have lost Bad A$$ Bear.  Then Goldilocks had an idea!

"How about a treat?!?" asked Goldilocks.
And she stuck her hand into the magic treat pouch.
"Oh.  Son of a -- I only have one!" exclaimed Old Mother Hubbard.  I mean Goldilocks.
"I can't even look at you, Goldilocks," said Bad A$$ Bear.
"You only have ONE?!?" remarked Viking Bear, as he peered at her out of the corner of his eye.

Goldilocks asked the three bears to pose anyway, but ...

"No way," said Viking Bear.
"No way," said Bad A$$ Bear.
"I can't believe you forgot to bring treats!" said the Papa Bear.

So the bears ate Goldilocks.

Just kidding.

Goldilocks swore up and down she'd make it up to everyone when they got back to  Ao4 Headquarters  their cottage.

"Heard that one before," said Bad A$$ Bear.
"Really, Mo--uh, Goldilocks?" asked Viking Bear.
"I promise!  Treats for everyone!" said Goldilocks.
"Fine," said Bad A$$ Bear.  "But you owe us."
"We'll hold you to it," said Viking Bear.
"Let's go," said Papa Bear.
"This one's JUST RIGHT!" said Goldilocks.

So Goldilocks and the three bears walked home. Once there, Goldilocks was true to her word:

"The treat containers are right behind us, Goldilocks!" reminded the ever-helpful Viking Bear.
"Yeah.  Pay up," said Bad A$$ Bear.
"Treats for everyone!" proclaimed Goldilocks.

And sure enough, when Papa Bear got in from hanging up Viking Bear's and Bad A$$ Bear's harnesses ...

"Here's your treat, Papa Bear!" said Goldilocks.
"Mmm, coffee!" exclaimed Papa Bear.

And they all lived happily ever after.

I hope you've enjoyed my story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears!



  1. Anonymous4:45 PM

    " So the bears ate Goldilocks."
    OMG!!! can you hear me laughing? all my neigbbors did!
    it's not too smart to tic off a bear. OR a siberian wannabe bear.

  2. I loved it, and the ending was perfect. I can understand you not wanting to turn away from the glorious sun.

  3. What a wonderful story. We're glad it all worked out in the end and everyone got their treats.