Baked Empanadas

Ha roo, pups! It's me - Zim. Drill SGT Zim. And you know how I LOVE being on KP duty! Trust me, pups, the kitchen is where it's at! I helped make Baked Empanadas the other night, and some of my pals have encouraged me to share our secret recipe. So here's how Mom and I make Baked Empanadas! This is aimed mostly at your biped, with helpful tips from me about what you can do!

First, clean the kitchen really well. Scrub all the counters real good and everything. Wash your hands, put on your cool apron and let's get started on the filling! You can put ANYTHING in there, but here's our "regular" filling.

2 Tbs. canola oil1 large onion, chopped
1 can Summer Crisp corn, drained
1 can black beans (free-holies!), drained
1 box Boca Crumbles or other “fake” beef
1 pkg. taco seasoning
1 tablespooon or so chili powder
1 teaspoon or so cumin
cayenne pepper, oregano leaves (dried) - I have no idea how much. Just "some".
¾ cup water, maybe 1/2 cup
shredded sharp cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese

Heat oil in sauté pan over medium/high heat.

Just as it gets to the right temp, take it off the burner and take Dave outside. Come back in, wash your hands again, and bring the pan back up to speed.

Add onion; cook for 3-4 minutes, stirring frequently. Add drained corn and continue to “brown” the veggies. Let the corn get roasted-looking to enhance the flavor! Stay close to the stove, pups, as sometimes they pop right out of the pan and you can snag a kernel! Add beans.

At this point, and I'm just telling you how my mom makes them, realize you should have used the REALLY big sauté pan. Grumble for a while, then get out the pan you should have started with in the first place. Transfer everything over and put the medium pan in the sink.

Once the onions and corn are nice and browned, turn heat down. Add Boca Crumbles, then stir in taco seasoning, spices, and water. Continue to heat on low, until Boca Crumbles have absorbed all the great flavors.

Once your filling is done, set it aside to cool. This is a great time to take a nice long walk and/or run. Really. Here's what our filling looked like:

Mmm, look at those free-holies in there! I love those!

OK, once you've taken your walk, come back, wash those paws again, and let's get busy with the dough!!! Here's what you'll need!

1 ½ cups flour
1 cup Masa Harina
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
½ cup butter -- melted & cooled
½ cup plus 1 T. water
2 lg. eggs (used separately)
Kosher salt (or a big-grained salt)

Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper or spray REALLY well with cooking spray. Actually, encourage your biped to skip the parchment paper. It will make your pans a MESS and maybe you'll get to clean them!

Preheat oven to 375 °F. Mix flour, masa harina, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. A really large bowl. Stir in melted butter. Whisk water and 1 egg in a small bowl to blend. Add to flour mixture; knead in bowl until smooth, pliable dough forms, about 2 minutes. Add more masa harina, if needed.

Wash hands and take your bestest kitchen helper outside. Say funny things like "Couldn't you have asked before my hands were covered in dough?" Ha roo roo roo. Oh, and wear your apron outside then wonder why the neighbors are looking at you funny. Ha roo roo roo. Come back in and wash!

Sprinkle masa harina all over the clean counter - or on a big SilPat mat. Working with small batches of the dough at a time, roll out as thinly as possible – less than 1/8" thickness. Using a 4" or larger diameter biscuit cutter, cut out rounds. Re-roll scraps and cut out additional rounds to use up all the dough. You should have at least 24 rounds.

Rollin', rollin', rollin' ...

A lot of masa harina is bound to hit the floor, so make sure you're in position, pups! And look cute! You may get a free-holie for all your hard work!

I'm here for you, Mom!

Place about 2 tablespoons of the filling in center of each dough round. You'll figure out how much will "fit". Top with shredded sharp cheddar or cheese of your choice. Yeah, pups. I know you want to see it. Are you salivating? Here you go!

CHEESE!!!!!

OK. After you put the filling and CHEESE on the dough, wet the edges of the dough a bit with water, then fold dough over, pressing edges to seal. Your mom can use just her fingers or the tines of a fork. Line them all up on your parchment-covered baking sheets. Here's the start of ours:

The stuffing process gets kind of messy. Since you've just taken your biped to the yard, she won't buy off on you needing to use the facilities. Send a mind-meld to one of your siblings and encourage him or her to ask to go out. (In the case of a non-multiple-pup house, just ask for yourself again. Whine a little, if necessary. Make it believable!)

Clean up and get ready to take Amber to the yard. Ask if anypup else would like to join you. Take the girls out. Come back in, wash your hands, then notice Dave asking to go out. Take both of the boys out, then give everyone a cookie. Wash your hands and get back to the rest of the empanadas. These are very important steps in the process, pups. Your biped will need a break, and you and your siblings can provide it!

After you've stuffed all the empanadas, whisk the remaining egg in a small bowl. Brush empanadas with beaten egg; sprinkle lightly with kosher salt. Bake until light golden brown, about 25 minutes. Sorry we don't have a better picture other than the one at the top of the page! We aren't sure what happened with the formatting on that!

While the empanadas are baking, clean the kitchen. Scrub those counter tops, do the dishes, then mop the floor a bit where your helper may have missed some masa harina. Trust me, there will be NO free-holies or cheese on the floor!

You've worked hard today, pups. Find a beam of sunlight and take a well-deserved snooze.

You've worked for it; sweet dreams!

Zzzz... cheezzzzzze..... free-holiezzzzz..... zzzzzz.....

Play bows and bon appétit!
Zim