Who We Are

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Shocking Tale! Brace Yourselves!

What the ...!?!?

Previously, at Army of Four Headquarters...

My Redspire Pear Tree stood at the north corner of the driveway.  We've shown you this tree before.  Here's what it looks like in Winter:

The Redspire Pear Tree.  My friend.  

Woo, everypup and cat.  It's me, Dave, with a sad, sad tale to tell you.  Scary, sad tale.  Shocking, scary and sad.  Let me get right to it.  I'm using lots of pictures to help.

The great part about this tree, in addition to the nice shape and the pretty blooms is all the ornamental fruit it drops all over the place!  We can't go anywhere without Mom or Dad stomping on it (and apparently it stains the carpet so Mom gets to spend time scrubbing the carpet; I'm sure that gives her joy since she does it so much!) or without one of us -- especially me! -- trying to snarf up some of those lovely fruits.  Once they've fermented, they are sooooo good!  Oh, sure, they make us horka sometimes and give us loose stools sometimes... but they're so worth it!  Mmm, smooshed ornamental fruit!  Mmm!

Here's Zim, showing you the bee-woo-tiful array of fruit!

Wowzers, Mom!  Wait 'til Dave sees all the new fruit that dropped!

Imagine my surprise the other morning.  There we were, having coffee on the back deck, when suddenly Zim sounded the alarm!

Hey!  There are some guys out front!

Mom was all excited for some reason and went out to see them.  She even took pictures while we ran to the front windows for a look.  
At first, it seemed innocent enough.  And then ... brace yourselves pups.  And cats.  Here it comes.

They just kept cutting ... and cutting!  And before we knew it...

...our tree was gone.  Like it never even existed.  I couldn't believe my eyes!  It had to be a bad dream!  

Mom took me outside so I could see for myself.  Even then, I was shocked.

Great Balto!  My tree!  My lovely, smooshed fruit-throwing tree!

Zim was there for me, like the great kid brother he is.

It's gone, Dave.  And there's nothing you can do about it.

He was right.  He was also right that I should have gotten the hint about what was going to happen when Dad started calling my tree "Fredo".  (Please follow that hyperlink that name doesn't ring a bell for you.  Then follow this one.)  Woo.

I'm still shocked every time I go out front.  Somepup wake me from this nightmare!



  1. Hi, friends!
    I can't believe what happened to you beloved tree! Why?? Like Fredo... it was dead??
    We have dead trees here but nobody takes care of them!
    Kisses and hugs

  2. I am keeping this post a secret from john and kelly. We have 2 fruit trees which I haven't had the pleasure to munch on yet, but soon enough, I too will have loose stools. I can't wait. So, keep it quiet.



    Ps. That scene gets me every time. Poor fredo. Did someone say fritos!

  3. So surely your Dad will replace this tree with something less, uh, fruitful? We have a pretty ornamental Maple tree in our front yard, called an Amur maple and we could recommend that. It sends out a few spinners in the fall, but not much.

    Good luck replacing your nasty tree for a nice one.


  4. I'm am SHOKHKED!

    I thought your peeps were nice folks...



  5. I've heard of Khyra's Snow Thief but I didn't know there were Tree Thieves that drive blue trucks!

  6. Sory, We can't wake you up. It seems to be real, not a dream. We're sorry about your smushed fruit tree. We like a good mess on the carpet too, but what can you do when the humans don't.

  7. oh my, nothing worse than to see a tree felled.

    We have some poplar trees up the bark park at the back from us, and they have been there for 25 years or more, and we have been told they are going next week.

    we feel your pain....................

    although they don't bear fruit, they are still 'poplar' with me.........ooooops sorry I could not resist the joke.....

    love and licks, Marvin xxxxxxxxx

  8. Poor Dave! How shocking! And no one even prepared you for this, much less asked for your permission! I wonder if any squirrels had their fuzzy tails in this dispicible act! Anyway, woo will have to find another way to sneak smooshy fruit and have loose stools. Where there's a Sibe, there's a way!

    Harooooooo!!! Good job Zimmy too!!

    Mya Boo Boo

  9. Oh no boys and girls....such sad news, we're just devastated for you, time will help heal you, BOL! Probably for the best though....I mean, if it gave you the squirts...well, that's just not nice!
    Slobbers xx

  10. OMD.. WTF! The tree mafia came round and your pawents did nothing to stop it? They just took photos?
    How - Could - They!!!

    Dave you should pack a bag immediatley, we have sent a plane to initiate rescue to my residence where you shall be bestowed with all the smooshed fruit throwing trees your little heart desires.

    This is an outrage!


  11. Dave,

    Ben here buddy.. don't panic there is no plane coming to dognap you. Mum tied me up and impersonated me for the above post!
    Just another pathetic attempt to wooo you over to her clutches!

    It is a shame about the tree though buddy.. maybe we can initiate some kind of ninja fast growing seed operation and get you a replacement asap!

    Bad AO4 Momma!! I shall have to put you on the naughty step and give you a thorough slobbering for such a cruel crime!!

    love and tailwags,

    Ben xxx (The Real Ben this time!!)

  12. Oh no... RIP pretty tree. :-/

    Holly & Zac...XX

  13. Yep, that's just like the two we have out front. If we are lucky, we try to snag a piece of that tasty fruit as we head down the driveway for our walk. But the birds usually get most of them. For some reason, Mom doesn't like these trees either - what is it with the Moms anyway? She says it stinks when it blossoms and it makes a mess the rest of the time. And make that times TWO!!!

    Maybe Mom and Dad will put up a crabapple tree, then woo can have even tastier fruit.

    Tail wags, the OP Pack

    Pee Ess, Storms, any bad storms headed our way?

  14. Anonymous4:46 PM

    Oh no!!! What happened to the tree that it had to go away? Did it get sick?

  15. I can't believe they took your tree! Did you ring the Pawlice?
    Big licks to you

  16. We're stunned.... this is so not right....

    Woos & a-rooos
    & sympathetic snooter snuggles toos,
    Star & Jack a-roo

  17. Absolutely shocking. We offer our sincerest condolences. What are you going to find to horka on your mom's carpet now so she can keep cleaning it like she likes to do?

  18. Mommy did the same thing to our tree!!! What is up? Will all the trees soon be gone? Where will Scampi pee?
    -Kira The Puzzled

  19. Woo is right! That's very sad. We have an apple and a plum tree. Every summer, Dad has to fence off half the back yard so I can't get at the fruit, or else (they say) I develop saddlebags which results in my getting starved (almost) to death, like Fredo. Not good nuuz. Wooooooooo.
    Tree: R.I.P.

  20. OH NOOOOES!!!

    We are soooo sorry that your tree is gone.

    What were those people thinking taking your tree anyway!

    hmmm... you know what they say about payback right...

    Lots of Luv & Kisses
    Addie and Lucie

  21. What a shock for sure but it is probably a good thing for your digestive systems and floors. :)

  22. If you think that is bad, you should see our backyard and what Mom and Dad have done. It involved a chain saw. That's all I'm gonna say.

    I'm sorry about the smooshed fruit tree demise. We have an apple tree in the back and it's yummy. When I pick up apples and bring them to Mom, she trades me a treat for the apple. What a deal!!


  23. mmmmmmmm! fruit fest sounds grrrrreat Dave, and all the scrubbing of the floor for your Mama, how pleasurable this must have been for her, and how sad now she can no longer continue on her hands and knees, getting the stains out.

    I guess her work there is now done.

    We have two rather pretty kitchen stools, I will have to go and check them now, to see if they are loose.............

    I am sad your fruit tree has gone, "gone and never called me mother" as we sometimes bark here.

    btw we have heavy snow this morning, wanna come over and play?

    lotsaluv, Marvin xxxxxxxx

  24. yes, I know, I have commented twice, but your post was so good, like New York New York, so good I commented twice, and now thrice......

    there is no hope for me, my J's head is in a spin to be honest, it is only 3 whole weeks before she goes to Aus!

    lots more licks, Marvin xxxxxxxx

  25. What a bummer, Dave! No more free snackies! This is just sickening! How could they do such a thing?!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

  26. Oh my goodness that is just terrible.. Tree thieves in your neighborhood. You 4 better start an around the clock patrol..

    Big Sloppy Kisses
    Gus, Louie and Callie

  27. omdog TREE KILLERS!?! WTF??? I am very sorry my friends :(

  28. I'd howl at every cut down tree!! Good thing the Chief is dead against tree felling!

    Licks and Wags,

    Tuffy of Dog Woods

  29. Dave,

    I'm sorry your tree is gone. :( I have a tree that's still growing and doesn't have fruit yet, but I'm waiting for it to get big and have yummy fruits!


  30. I came over from Ludos place and saw about the murder of your yummy rotten fruit tree. So sorry. I have a mulberry tree that drops rotten stuff, and makes the birds poop red stuff on your car. I could send you a seed or something..maybe it would grow?
    your pal, Morgan