Dave intercepted an email that was posted to the quilt group our mom (and he - Dave, Guide Dog for the Color Blind) belong to. Dave monitors the group, in case there's something we need to know about - or in case anyone needs help coordinating fabrics. I knew right away there was trouble brewing when he showed me this message and the attached picture.
The message was in CatSpeak and read, "Excuse me....I have asked you one time already to let me go outside in the snow.....Now are you going to open that door or do I have to hide your rotary cutter???" and it was signed ... "E.Vil Kitty" Whoa! Here's the picture:
Scary! Where does this guy get off threatening a quilter? Dave had Mom ask E. Vil's biped a bit more about him and learned that they "kid around about how he has this evil lair that he goes to when we let him outside to plot our demise." Um... I'm not sure I'd pup around about that. It could be WAY too close to the truth!
The bipeds say that this cat really does look like he hates you COMPLETELY sometimes!!! He's even got the dogs there steering clear of him! And he can immitate human-speak! To get the bipeds to do his bidding, he once said, "I love you!" to them -- as his biped explained, "...it was like a bribe...'okay, I'll say the ugly words of love if you will please just put me outside!!' He's definitely entertaining........" Oh, no. That's not entertainment -- that's MIND CONTROL! Courtesy of the C(un)IA.
Just when I was about to say that I wouldn't turn my back on E. Vil or trust him around certain objects in the quilt room, his biped posted the following: "I turned my back for one second and this is where he thought he needed to be. I moved him into a box he likes but nooooooo back to my cutting area."
Hide your rotary cutter! Seriously! Do you know how sharp those things are!?!? Dave reminded me that another member of the quilt group who lives in that SAME TOWN in Oklahoma had a bad run-in with her rotary cutter not long ago. We have to wonder ... was E. Vil in the vicinity? Think about it.
Oklahomans - call on the Ao4 or any member of the HULA Hoop if you need help. We're here for you. We will not allow cats to control the world!