Dave intercepted an email that was posted to the quilt group our mom (and he - Dave, Guide Dog for the Color Blind) belong to. Dave monitors the group, in case there's something we need to know about - or in case anyone needs help coordinating fabrics. I knew right away there was trouble brewing when he showed me this message and the attached picture.
The message was in CatSpeak and read, "Excuse me....I have asked you one time already to let me go outside in the snow.....Now are you going to open that door or do I have to hide your rotary cutter???" and it was signed ... "E.Vil Kitty" Whoa! Here's the picture:
Scary! Where does this guy get off threatening a quilter? Dave had Mom ask E. Vil's biped a bit more about him and learned that they "kid around about how he has this evil lair that he goes to when we let him outside to plot our demise." Um... I'm not sure I'd pup around about that. It could be WAY too close to the truth!
The bipeds say that this cat really does look like he hates you COMPLETELY sometimes!!! He's even got the dogs there steering clear of him! And he can immitate human-speak! To get the bipeds to do his bidding, he once said, "I love you!" to them -- as his biped explained, "...it was like a bribe...'okay, I'll say the ugly words of love if you will please just put me outside!!' He's definitely entertaining........" Oh, no. That's not entertainment -- that's MIND CONTROL! Courtesy of the C(un)IA.
Just when I was about to say that I wouldn't turn my back on E. Vil or trust him around certain objects in the quilt room, his biped posted the following: "I turned my back for one second and this is where he thought he needed to be. I moved him into a box he likes but nooooooo back to my cutting area."
Hide your rotary cutter! Seriously! Do you know how sharp those things are!?!? Dave reminded me that another member of the quilt group who lives in that SAME TOWN in Oklahoma had a bad run-in with her rotary cutter not long ago. We have to wonder ... was E. Vil in the vicinity? Think about it.
Oklahomans - call on the Ao4 or any member of the HULA Hoop if you need help. We're here for you. We will not allow cats to control the world!
holy crap, they are armed?!?!! we don't have a rotary cutter, but we have a pizza cutter...and if they stole the pizza cutter, no more crusts for me! These cats know how to get us where it hurts :(ReplyDelete
I understand your need to keep certain cats from infiltrating and hurting anyone but I can assure you the 2 that live in my house are not part of that. They don't like the outside. I hope you understand.
Paws & Kisses,
We are never safe. Be careful of E.Vil, Storms, be very careful.
And happy birthday, gorgeous Ammy, I hope you got lots of treats.
Chow for now,
Tin Tin (who has to lose 5 kilos, pah!) xo
Good thing we have bigger teeth, bigger mouth's, and bigger feet, oh yeah, and bigger boddies so we can just squish them.ReplyDelete
Overall, I don't think we should be afraid of them. It's just gives them hope. And lets face it, we know we would win, so what is the worry?
I say we just laugh at them, and eventually they won't think it's fun to "try" to alarm us.
And seriously, the dogs always win.
Joey: This is bad, isn't it? We need to really stay on alert! What if the one across the street from you uses the pizza cutter to cut the brake lines like you mentioned?!!?ReplyDelete
Maggie Rose: I like cats. I really do. I've had cat friends. But you just can't trust them! Do yours use the internet? They might get goofy ideas that way!
Tin Tin: Fortunately, E.Vil is in the next state south of here. But we WILL be very careful!
Amber thanks you for the birthday wishes and thinks your mom should give you LOTS of treats (diet, schmiet) in her honor!
Holly: You're so wise. No wonder Dave has a thing for you!
Tail wags, pups!
Show him those videos of me tearing up the box! That will scare him!ReplyDelete